Saturday, September 18, 2010

Going to work and more tantrums.

"Bye, Mummy, Bye!"

Ava is going to work again. She has a travel mug, and has stuffed a baby cabbage patch doll inside it, has a cookie tin filled with all sorts of random things. Her bright little face shines as she announces that she is 'off to work' and she troupes dutifully into the lougeroom, unpacks her work things, carefully packs them up, and marches back to the kitchen.

"Hello, Mummy, I'm home! I'm home from work!"

Oh baby, if only is was that fun!

We have had a horrid couple of days, filled with willful tantrums, loads of tears and time out. I am sure that other toddlers must do it too, but Ava becomes completely irrational when she is in full blown tanty mode. There is nothing you can do but wait for her to burn herself out.

Yesterday we went to Officeworks, to get some binding done and buy a whiteboard for the kitchen. Ava hadn't slept properly and she went into full on tanty mode as soon as I plonked her in the trolley and told her she couldn't walk. It was so bad that at one point a well meaning, young staff member asked if I would like some water to calm her down. Yes, well meaning young lady, just give me a barrel, so I can dunk her in a little bit and swish her around. That will calm her down. (I politely declined)

I honestly was so frustrated and upset and overwhelmed that I wanted to slap her across the face.  OF COURSE I didn't, but I can understand how a person with less patience and understanding and no support network could. So, I muttered over and over to myself  'bigger, kinder, wiser, bigger, kinder, wiser' to remind myself that I am the grown up and that it is my job to show Ava how to deal with big feelings and how to behave. I attached my well practised 'calm face' and ignored all the 'tuts' and whispers and (at one point) snide comments.Yes old lady, I heard you. Was that really neccessary? Do you not think I was feeling shit already before you chimed in. Yes, my toddler is in meltdown. Yes, she is inconvieniently noisy. Yes, she is screaming and trying to climb out of the trolley. Yes, I know that you probably want to shop in peace. No, I am not going to hit her. No, I am not going to leave. No, I don't care what you think of me, my child or my parenting. I am the person who has been blessed with her, I have to live with her everyday, so I will do what I think is right. Thank you for not really understanding.

Ava. Why are you so very, very frustrated? I hope it is just your age my Precious Princess and that your words will soon catch up with your feelings and thoughts and all these meltdowns will stop.


  1. BE brave my gorgeous friend! I think you are doing an awesome job with Ava in the face of an uncertain future! I take my hat off to single mothers, and especially those who like you have the time and organisation to also do full time work. Ignore those old biddy and their snide comments~ and call them out on it next time you hear them! SHAME THEM OUT! (do they not remember when they have a screaming toddler in the supermarket isles back in 1950!!)
    Keep your chin up and dont let the cheeky Ava win! (I know that I dont have any kids~ so take or leave my advise~ but my cousin is having a lot of success with emotions training, so making her 2.5 yr old aware that she is making mummy sad or happy by what she is doing~ maybe this would help Ava~ you can only try)
    Again: you are an awesome mum!
    Hopefully we can catch up sometime soon.
    Your friend

  2. Thanks Kiri! Even though I don't completely believe you, it's nice having someone trust that you are doing an okay job!

  3. I love my niece to pieces! Yes, she is feisty & headstrong. But the equal co-parenting of Shane & yourself (the obvious love & dedication you both have for Ava) will mean she will grow out of her toddler tantrums into a beautiful, bright, unique & talented little lady.


  4. She'll get over it, they never know what they want and when they get it they don't want it!