bloody bloody bloody blaaaaaaaah....

I was in such a deep funk this morning, and I couldn't shake myself out of it. Even yoga, which usually leaves me feeling like I am floating on a cloud of exercise induced endorphins had only mildly lifted my mood.

My weight has not budged. Not one kg on my expensive, reveal all, leave nothing to the imagination scales. A little up, a little down, a little up, a little down. But on the whole, more up than down.

This really has me stumped. I am not lacking in motivation, or will power. My thyroid and levels are normal. I eat a low calorie, low fat, balanced vegetarian diet. I see a dietician, who has told me that my diet is very balanced and that I am making the right choices. So why has an extra 15 kilos found me in the last year?

One of the answers may be the birth control I am using. Currently, with no children planned for the future, I have a Mirena IUD. The Intra Uterine Device sits in the uterus and releases a low level of a certain type of progesterone, tricking the body into thinking it is pregnant, stopping the endometrium from forming, stopping you ovulating and also providing a physical obstacle from unwanted pregnancy. The level of hormone is apparently 1/5 of the Implanon, and even less enters the blood stream, because it is absorbed locally. The doctor who inserted it assured me that weight gain is significantly less with the Mirena than other hormone based contraceptives like the pill. My best friend asked her doctor on my behalf if weight gain was a side effect of the Mirena, and the doctor said 'no', so I dug out the product information booklet this morning, and it is listed as the first side effect, along with nervousness, depression and nausea. So, the levels of hormones can't really be all that low, can they? It also states that if you are breastfeeding, that there will be a small ammount of progesterone present in breast milk, the same level as if you were taking the progesterone only mini pill. So, if it is absorbed locally, what is the hormone doing in your breast milk?

I guess when I got it fitted, I misunderstood the term "small amount". It must be a "small amount" by doctors standards, because if it is the same as the mini-pill, it is too much for my body. Tricking my body into thinking it is pregnant has caused it to react like it is pregnant and put on weight around my boobs and belly.

The kicker finally came a few weeks ago, when I was being fitted for a new bra. The lady politely informed me that the particular sports bra I was after didn't come in my size. I was very shocked, until I learnt that I have grown from a 14D to a 14E/F /16DD/E. My boobs are absolutely ginormous. No two ways about that.

I hope this is a piece of the puzzle for me, because I am really at my wits end. This week alone I clocked up over eight hours of exercise, and I ate sensibly all week, with only one real blow out...and it was pretty mild; I had homemade nachos. I danced, rode to work, did yoga, walked and still the scales shifted upwards.

So, I am going to see about getting my Mirena changed for an old fashioned copper T. Hopefully, sensible diet and exercise will work better without extra hormones in my blood, and I can get onto achieving the goals I set myself for 2011, because I am a bit sick of hating myself.