Humungous Nunga nungas

I had my follow up appointment with the dietician this afternoon. It was a bit mixed, as I had a very good week then a very bad one, but Ya-el said that I seemed in a far better state of mind about food and my weight than last time. I can't help feeling a little bit put out that this is going to be a slooooooooow process, but if I restrict myself in my diet, as soon as I stop restricting myself, all the weight and more is going to come back on. It needs to be slow, gradual changes until eating less and moving more is the norm. However, one little thing is getting on my nerves.

I have ginormous nunga nungas. (So, two big things, actually)

Before I had Ava I was a comfortable 12D. Big enough to be very busty and sexilicious, but not ridiculous. Well, a couple of days ago I went into Bras N Things to get fitted, as I haven't been since before I was pregnant, and when the lady told me that 14E was the largest they had in sports bras, and that I actually needed to go up a cup, I almost cried.

14F. F for 'fucking huge.

I don't really know why it has me so upset. I know that I have put on weight, and I know that it will take a lifestyle change and most of the year, AND THEN the rest of my life eating healthy to change this. I had my follow up appointment, she is very happy with my mental, emotional and physical state....but my boobs are huge.

When Ava was just born, and I went to breastfeed her for the second time (the first time was laying down in sort of a haze as the midwife explained about proper attachment and my nipples NOT becoming infected and dropping off as she manoeuvred the mewling infant onto my breast) I held onto my boob, up and out of the way, for fear I would suffocate her.
Midwife: "You can let go now, she's on properly."
Me: "But... she won't be able to breathe!"
Midwife " Yes, she will.....that's it......."

I let go. One or two seconds ticked my. Suddenly, like a flash, the midwife had dived at my breast, and all of a sudden was holding it off my tiny infants nose.

"Okay, change of plan. Maybe you should support it here, just so she can breathe, okay" Gotta love how calm she was.

I want little, pert boobies.

bloody bloody bloody blaaaaaaaah....

I was in such a deep funk this morning, and I couldn't shake myself out of it. Even yoga, which usually leaves me feeling like I am floating on a cloud of exercise induced endorphins had only mildly lifted my mood.

My weight has not budged. Not one kg on my expensive, reveal all, leave nothing to the imagination scales. A little up, a little down, a little up, a little down. But on the whole, more up than down.

This really has me stumped. I am not lacking in motivation, or will power. My thyroid and levels are normal. I eat a low calorie, low fat, balanced vegetarian diet. I see a dietician, who has told me that my diet is very balanced and that I am making the right choices. So why has an extra 15 kilos found me in the last year?

One of the answers may be the birth control I am using. Currently, with no children planned for the future, I have a Mirena IUD. The Intra Uterine Device sits in the uterus and releases a low level of a certain type of progesterone, tricking the body into thinking it is pregnant, stopping the endometrium from forming, stopping you ovulating and also providing a physical obstacle from unwanted pregnancy. The level of hormone is apparently 1/5 of the Implanon, and even less enters the blood stream, because it is absorbed locally. The doctor who inserted it assured me that weight gain is significantly less with the Mirena than other hormone based contraceptives like the pill. My best friend asked her doctor on my behalf if weight gain was a side effect of the Mirena, and the doctor said 'no', so I dug out the product information booklet this morning, and it is listed as the first side effect, along with nervousness, depression and nausea. So, the levels of hormones can't really be all that low, can they? It also states that if you are breastfeeding, that there will be a small ammount of progesterone present in breast milk, the same level as if you were taking the progesterone only mini pill. So, if it is absorbed locally, what is the hormone doing in your breast milk?

I guess when I got it fitted, I misunderstood the term "small amount". It must be a "small amount" by doctors standards, because if it is the same as the mini-pill, it is too much for my body. Tricking my body into thinking it is pregnant has caused it to react like it is pregnant and put on weight around my boobs and belly.

The kicker finally came a few weeks ago, when I was being fitted for a new bra. The lady politely informed me that the particular sports bra I was after didn't come in my size. I was very shocked, until I learnt that I have grown from a 14D to a 14E/F /16DD/E. My boobs are absolutely ginormous. No two ways about that.

I hope this is a piece of the puzzle for me, because I am really at my wits end. This week alone I clocked up over eight hours of exercise, and I ate sensibly all week, with only one real blow out...and it was pretty mild; I had homemade nachos. I danced, rode to work, did yoga, walked and still the scales shifted upwards.

So, I am going to see about getting my Mirena changed for an old fashioned copper T. Hopefully, sensible diet and exercise will work better without extra hormones in my blood, and I can get onto achieving the goals I set myself for 2011, because I am a bit sick of hating myself.

She smells like a what?

Ava's imagination has been running wild lately. In addition to that strange dream two evenings ago, she has  been coming out with some very strange things.

This morning, cuddling in bed, I asked her what she was thinking. She looked puzzled and then replied "I smell like a goat!"

She smells like a what? She definitely doesn't get that from me!

* * * * *

So yesterday I had my appointment with the doctor ordered dietician. A very beautiful and healthy looking young lady named Ya-el went through a whole bunch of questions with me about my weight and diet, as we looked for the cause of my weight gain and ill health towards the end of last year.

Well, apparently I am as healthy as an Ox, and the actual foods I am putting into my body are the right ones. My levels are great, I have ridiculously wonderful cholesterol levels, I am fit, flexible and my heart and lungs are strong. I am just overweight.

This is what I am doing wrong, and the dietician is going to help me fix: I am alternately starving myself at one meal, not eating enough and then gorging myself at the next meal. I am not snacking and not drinking enough water, and then eating too much. I eat out too much, and I make unhealthy choices when I do. I don't get to the gym enough, and I need to incorporate more physical activity into my lifestyle.

These are the list of goals I have been given to work towards:
* Aim for exercise 4 times to 7 times a week.
* When dining out stick to salads with the dressing on the side.
* Use less oil in cooking and dressings
* Aim for 6-8 glasses of water a day
* Incorporate healthy snacks between meals.

All easy things to do, right? Not for me. If it was so easy, I wouldn't have been sent to a dietician!!

In addition to professional help, His Majesty and my friend in Geraldton have agreed to help me and support my journey and provide motivation...and a little competition! I am very lucky to have such wonderful friends in my life.

So, this year I have dedicated all to me. I have made resolutions and I am making changes, so that by the the beginning of 2012 I will have achieved all the goals that I have set for myself this year. I really feel like I am well on my way to achieving them.

And that's a nice feeling.

My baby smells like cheese and vegemite...

My little girls breath smells like cheese and vegemite. Is there anything sweeter in the world? When does breath turn sour? When do people start getting skinky morning (or all day?) breath? Because I could smell her for hours. (It's a mum thing)

I hung out with my best friend and her sister yesterday. Three girls, four babies and one.... Wii fit! It was so much fun! I am a little achy today, only in the abs from doing jack knifes (ARGH!) and lunches. Ooops-did I say lunches- I meant lunges. (wish it was lunches!) So, I have decided that the Wii fit is AWESOME and I want one.

Alas! I do not want to pay $550, because I don't have a Wii either. Hmmm, time to rekindle my old ebay addiction I think!

Back onto lunches, I was out all day yesterday, and I am pretty impressed with my food choices. I had a Biggest Loser shake for breakfast (I don't normally do the shakes thing, but I find it really good if I'm in a hurry or Ava is being demanding), sushi for lunch and subway for tea. Yummo, and I stayed under my calories for the day! YAY.

So today is my weigh in day, and I weigh- 66.3 kilos! YAY! That's a massive 13.7 kilos since I had Ava...go me. And to celebrate, I am wearing my old size 14 jeans. I never thought I would celebrate wearing a size 14, but there you go!

Best to do some housework whilst baby is asleep....